Motive of Blogging..

I'm guilty of hoping all my friends that have internet at home to read my blog.. (sort of LOA la.. Lack of Attention).. It feels good to know that your friends actually take the time to read what you bother to write and whats going on with your life. However, lately, my chat box and comment section has been pretty empty other than only few friends (1-3) that will leave some comments. Frankly, I was abit dissapointed although my priority to start my blog last year was to just write what I think and sort of like a personal diary and I wasn't even bothered whether anyone reads it or not. After that, friends started leaving messages and I felt motivated and I find pure joy in blogging. Then it went down because I thought my friends are not reading anymore... but i was wrong...

I realised most of my friends are just pure lazy to leave messages in the chat box and they just love to be the invisible visitors.. I have one friend that encouraged me to update my blog everyday because it is just fun to read about my life and what I think about things that are happening around me. I was even shocked that some of my friends feel motivated after reading my blog.. I never expect these things to happen and I'm seriously very very happy to be able to motivate my friends indirectly. Blogging has become part of the culture of the young and happenings.. Although I am not considered as the Happening ones but I trully enjoy the freedom of speech in this cyber space. Thanks to all my friends (not forgetting my 2 sisters that always complain that my entry is always too long) that will talk to me knowing that I am down after reading my blog and thanks to those specific ones (You know who you are) that are addicted to reading my blog. It just feels good to know all these.. I feel like a superstar having some faithful fans.. (hahaha.. shock sendiri) I'm a imperfect human like all of you.. so can't blame me to want some attention too right? Like what my sis puts in her blog.. A perfect human specimen is an imperfect one.. SO TRUE!!!

P/s: Leave some messages la.. At least make me feel good abit.. Haha.. boring la if my chat box is always empty.. dam LOA..

Bang bang..

I bang a car on Tuesday evening when I was reversing my car out from the parking lot.. I thought the Wira has left, thus I shock shock just reverse la.. Mana tau.. one Waja suddenly appears.. When I heard his horn, I heard a Bang too!!! CRAP CRAP CRAP!!! Panic like a crab that is going to be slaughthered to become a 'Kam Hiong' CRAB.. I dont know what to say..sick and was still on medication.. BLUR.. panic.. nothing but 'shit shit shit' in my brain and 'stupid Pamela, why on earth are you so careless!!!'.. but thank god the guy wasn't like those big bullies.. He was pretty polite (maybe because the wife is there as well) and he talked nicely to me.. I'm going to meet him tommorrow to go to a workshop and see how much the damage is going to be at 10am!!! on saturday!! I suppose to be sleeping and dreaming bout my prince charming.. I'm so down right now.. Not knowing how much I have to pay for his car and not forgetting my poor car too.. but thank god my car wasn't that bad.. Hopefully the cost wont be that much.. Anyone wants to donate out of kindness? hahaha..

I wanna be a kid back..

When I was a baby..
All I can do was 'ma-ma' here and 'pa-pa' there.. I don't even know how to walk properly and always bang the wall because I do not know how to stop...
I wished I can be an older kid so that I can tell my parents I do not like to have liquid food everyday and I wanna try solid food like what they always have..

When I was a kid..
All I can do was cry whenever things don't go my way and play with my toys.. I don't know what life really is and my grandparents were still there pampering me..
I wished I can go to primary school because I'm bored playing the same old toys and I want to have my own pocket money to buy food in those cool canteens I always see on tv.. Solid food rocks!!!

When I was a student in primary school..
All I can do was study hard to be in the top class and learn how to speak/write/read mandarin which I've never been exposed to.. All I know is I have to do my homework, or else my teachers will spank me real hard..
I wished I can go to secondary school because I wanna have long hair (chinese schools don't allow gals to have long hair and we all have the same mushroom-look-alike hairstyle) and I hated mandarin.. Its makes my report card red.. Canteen food was boring and dull...

When I was a student in secondary school..
All I can do was to ask my parents for money whenever I need them and be the joker in the class.. I was rebelious and pretty hard to be tamed.. Hahaha..
I wished I can go to college so that I can work part time and have my own money and study things that I want.. I dont like having long hair.. because its so hard to take care..

When I was a college kid..
All I can do was to study a course that I feel its most suitable for me (business) and will be able to help me to eat in the future.. I fell in love with not so suitable people.. I learned about life after school..
I wished I don't need to study anymore because lectures were boring, assignments are tiring and working life looks so cool.. Working part time and studying full time at that time is just so hard with the commitments I have in church.. Too many things to do.. so little time..

Now that I'm officially an adult..
I have to face the reality of life.. no turning back and be responsible for whatever decisions I've made for myself.. I can't go back to parents if I think I'm lack of cash and I have to be independent..I have to clean of the mess I did unintentionally and be very careful whenever I wanna speak.. Colleagues will not be as nice as how my friends were and customers might not be as nice as you think they should be.. Skincares are topping up my dressing table because it is essential for a WOMAN to take good care of her appearance.. and I attend more weddings than birthday parties nowadays.. I FEEL OLD...
I wished I can go back to my kiddo time.. where I can just play with my Barbie dolls and eat without worrying about how fat I'm going to be after swallowing a long tube of OREO's all by myself (dipped with fresh milk).. My parents will kiss me to sleep at nights and give me chocolates when i cry.. My grandparents will still be here with me and sayang/manja me like how they used to before they pass away few years back.. ( I miss them sooooooo much)

But.. Its impossible.. Time wont turn back.. I (we) have to look forward and march ahead.. So much ups and downs (more of downs) in life we have to face whether we like it or not.. sometimes I feel lost.. sometimes I wish I can just cry out loud.. Sometimes.. I just want a big hug.. Sometimes I miss those things I did before with my family/friends/someone in the world.. I know the realities in life but sometimes I just wish I don't know what I know and be dumb dumb.. I'm just being quite EMO now.. forgive me..

Love is in the air..

I came across this very interesting article when I was 'poo-poo-ing' on the 'throne'.. (haha.. too much info..) Anyway, since Valentines day is tomorrow, I thought it is quite appropriate to share this with all of you. This is just a random thing done by a group of professionals on a group of kids aged between 4 to 8 years old. The question is simple: 'What does love mean?'. It is interesting to see kids think about love.. Its simple but so sweet..

'When people love you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.' -Billy, age 4

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'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.' -Karl, age 5 (sounds abit disturbing.. haha)

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'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.' -Chrissy, age 6 (I always do that.. I love you all that always eat MCd with me..)

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'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.' -Terri, age 4 (This is just so sweet and true..)

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'Love is when my mummy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is ok.' -Danny, age 7

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'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mummy and daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.' -Emily, age 8 (so cute man this gal..)

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/ 'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend whom you hate.' -Nikka, age 6

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'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.' -Noelle, age 7 (that will be so smelly.. no wonder colognes and perfummes are so sellable.)

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'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.' -Tommy, age 6

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'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.' -Cindy, age 8

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'My mummy loves me more than anybody else. You don't see anyone kissing me to sleep at night.' -Clare, age 6 (I do miss my parents kissing me at nights before I go to sleep.. I'm so way pass the age man..)

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'Love is when mummy gives daddy the best piece of chicken.' -Elaine, age 5 (they say the best way to keep a man's heart is to feed his appetite.. SO TRUE!!)

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'Love is when mummy sees daddy all smelly and sweaty but still says he is more handsome than Robert Redford.' -Chris, age 7

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'You really shouldn't say I LOVE YOU unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.' -Jessica, age 8 (this gal is such a genius and sweety pie)

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And the best of all.. which i love the most is:

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'I know my older sister loves me because she gives my all her old clothes and has to go out to buy new ones.' -Lauren, age 4 (Jess and Mandy, that shows how much I love you both all these while for sacrificing my clothes.. haha.. this girl is still young.. she will know the truth in later years.. haha.. so innocent and adorable..)

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Often times we simply forget how simple love can be and its not about pricey gifts and datings only.. Learn from these children and you will realise that this world is full of love and be sensitive to all the little details your love ones always do for you.. (of course, you don't expect to find it from Mr O-sa-ma.. )

I would like to wish all of you, be it single or taken or married, A HAPPY and BLESSED VALENTINES DAY.. I seriously feel that you don't really need to celebrate on tomorrow because its so not worth it!!! Everyday can be Valentines Day my dears.. Even though I do not have any special someone in my life right now, I wanna thank all the people that have impacted my life so far.. Without you all, I won't be where I am today.. Especially my really close friends- Sau Kin, Wuan Chin, Grace, Jeffrey, Hermann, Ryan, Celina and so many more.. Also my dear sisters- Jess and Mandy.. I cherished every moment we spend together and all the wacky, sarcastic, heart-to-heart chats we have whenever we can't sleep.. and of course.. enjoyed gossiping with you both too.. Thanks to everyone that were there for me all these while and looking forward for a better tomorrow with all of you.. ADIOS!! *hugz*

p/s: The young adults fellowship cell has started a blog of our own.. do drop by if you are interested.. I've link it in my blog and the add is http://yafklang.blogspot.com

Chinese New year Count down...

I'm stuck in my office waiting for the clock to strike 1pm so that I can get out of here and go to my grandma's house for a reunion lunch! Thank God that my company gives us all chinese a half day off (technically, its not really half day off..) and most of them have taken thier leaves starting from today. The office is slightly peaceful.. and the malays are joking among each other entertaining everyone, eating complimentary mandarin oranges that our clients gave and I'm so in a good mood knowing that I don't need to work for the next 5 days just lifts up my spirit!! YAHOO!! Though I am a Christian since I was born, I am still a typical Chinese at heart. I do not pray to my 'nenek moyang-s' or the gods of properity but my family and me still practises some of the old traditions..

I always look forward for our annual reunion lunch in my dad's mum's house and the annual reunion dinner with my mum's side's family in any chinese restaurants (coz both my grandpa and ma had passed away few years back.. i miss them dearly..) . Though we are all staying quite close together, but we hardly meet together as all of us are committed in one thing or another. It is just too hard to get a time where everyone will be free and able to have a proper meal together. Family tie is so important that sadly, most of us tend to ignore or forgotten these very modern days. Many think that friends are more important and family is just too boring as they always don't understand how we feel personally. I admit, friends play such important roles in our lives and it is just so hard to move on with life without friends. But family is important too! I know quite a handful of people that rather stay outside most of the time and only go back home when they are tired or when they are just broke. Like what my mum always say to me (back in those days) ... I treat my house like a hotel.. only comes back when i need the bed or food.. other times, bayang pun tak ada.. I used to be so rebelious that I will find any excuses on earth that I can possibly find just to not stay at home.. I used to dislike my family.. I used to be embarrassed about my family.. I even hated my dad and mum before for bringing me into this world..

I know i was wrong.. I realise how foolish i was and thus admitting it now.. I am not shy to tell out the mistakes I did before as I love my family now and that I wanna spend my time with them before things happen and I'll regret. Family will not forsake you even if you have done something wrong that your friends might despise you for it.. Family will stand by your side when you feel that the world has betrayed you.. Family is love, family is care.. Family should be our main priority and motivation in life (other than GOD above of cause..).

Try to make more time to sit down on the same table with your family for a meal.. it will make alot of difference. Of course, CNY reunion is more for the whole big family including all your relatives.. but other than that, you can always have a decent dinner with your immediate family any days in the year.. Spending time with the people that love you is important as they wanna feel loved as well.. We are all imperfect humans with emotions to express.. Treat your family nicely as friends can go and come but family stays with you forever..

Have a HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR all my friends.. (oops.. and family.. )

Don't eat too much oranges and fall sick like how I always do every year.. (i just can't get my hands off those juicy tangerines)

Have a blessed (plus prosperous) CNY and may you and your family will have an awesome time!!!

Take care and GOD bless! *hugz*

Valentines day.. *yawn*

Met up with a girl friend of mine the other day and she complained that her dearest darling won't be able to spend this year's valentine with her and she's very upset! I was wondering why because this boy friend of hers treats her like a princess and 'manja-ed' her too much.. so for me, I don't think it is a problem if her boyfriend can't be with her because he's working and Valentine falls on a weekday anyway.

I feel that she's over-reacting as Valentine's day by practical is over-commercialised which really helped those blood-sucking business-men earn alot of $$$ by selling flowers, gifts and chocolates with an on-top-of-the-world + ridiculously high price. If a couple is in love with each other, everyday can be Valentines day and its not just February 14. You can still tell your darling that you love her/him on other days and pamper him/her on any other days other than that day. I told her that it is not practical to go out on that particular day because you will be wasting time queing up with other couples in those fancy restaurants which your poor darling has to vormit out a big amount of money for those small servings and you guys will have no peace to enjoy those food as other couples are looking at you, aiming on your table, waiting impatiently for you to leave.. whats the point? Can't romance also.. Since her darling already say that he will bring her out on the weekends after that day, its good enough!! So don't complain la..

At least she has a boyfriend that really cares and loves her.. ME.. haihz.. alone again.. haha.. I'm not complaining because I know I can spend my night with my close friends or my family (better than nothing right?) in my house and just do whatever we want. But sometimes, it feels good to know that someone somewhere is actully thinking about you and missing you.. I am definitely not a big fan of Valentines day because the world has this mentality that if you have no date on that day, you are such loser! Friend, being single is not wrong and not spending time with your darling (if you taken of course) on Valentines day doesn't make u a loser as well. Why spend the unneccessary money when you can actually use the money to eat a good meal and shop on other days? Do you actually have to wait for that day only in order to show each other how important are they to you? Pls.. If someone is so important to you, tell them and show them that you love and care for them.. There are 364 other days for you to proof to them (for this year, you have 365 days) that you love them!

Don't get me wrong, if you and your other half has plans for this very 'special' day, good for you both because you guys made an effort.. But if you do not have because your the other half is busy, be considerate la.. Don't be angry because you still can 'celebrate' on other days and your the other half still loves you!!! I am a little annoyed with my friend because she keeps complaining just because her boyfriend can't be with her on that day. Come on la.. grow up!!! (don't worry, i'm not talking behind her back because I told her straight to her face that she's not considerate about her boyfriend's working condition as she's still a student and she's kindda rich and doesn't really know how the real world is like yet. We didn't quarrel coz we are very straight forward to each other)

* Watch a movie at one of your houses with your darling... At least can cuddle each other ma.. so nice.. then cook something together.. Both of you will still swallow the food no matter how yucky is it and laughed at each other.. that's what love is all about! better than rushing all your agendas outside right?